I am sitting here in my pink ginham checked cotton pyjamas because I have not been motivated to kick my but for work. I have a good excuse because I still have the 'Perpetual Friggin Cold' that is going around.
I thought it would be a good time to tell you about the Movie I am producing. It will be out next Spring.
It is the story of a beautiful Italian woman (Mascarponia) who works for the Uzbekistan Embassy in Italy. She meets a Turkish -Russian womanizer with a mysterious past and shady dealings with the Galapagos Islands Mafia.
She is drugged and kidnapped one day and wakes up in a Resort Hotel on the Adriatic Sea. She is locked in a bedroom with a tiny window. The first person she thinks about is Alflakeo, the young Turkish-Russian she has just started to get involved with.
A grimy Mediterranean with tightly curled longish hair enters the room. He is a picture worth a thousand words but the sense of smell is a better indicator for Mascarponia, as the brawny Mediterranean does not know what deoderant is. As Mascarponia is blindfolded she must guess the presence of her abductor by her olfactory gland alone.
He unties her and tells her that Alflakeo will be there shortly and to wait quietly or he will gag her and throw her in the closet. She obeys and retreats to the corner of the room as the gentleman caller is too much for her poor nose to bear.
Fortunately Alflakeo arrives in a few minutes and begins a long explanation of why she was kidnapped, who he really is and what they will do next. But that part is not important now. Let's pick up the Dialogue from there. Please imagine that they are speaking Italian and you are watching English subtitiles(because that is the way it will be.)
ALFLAKEO There is a slight problem......now that you know of our operation, I cannot let you go back to the Embassy.
MASCARPONIA I understand. I cannot go back there now anyway. My sister-in-law hates me and claims I work underground for the Israeli Mosad. My brother has gone psycho and believes it as well....I think they were about to do some report....
ALFLAKEO We know about that. Right now we must stop Uzbekistan from infiltrating the Galapagos connection and finding out the identity of our contact in Columbia. They were about to kidnap you themselves.......we were faster. I am here to save you.....but my first priority is the safety and secrecy of Senor X.
MASCARPONIA Who is this "X" character ?
ALFLAKEO He is our Leader .
MASCARPONIA Can we get out of here....I am getting a headache.
ALFLAKEO (in his heavy Russian accent while grabbing Mascarponia) I want only to gaze into your grape green eyes and whisper........
MASCARPONIA (breaking away from his tight hold and brushing her mussed up hair from her face) I really want to get out of this......this...( she turns and notices that the curly haired accomplice is reading Bill O'Reilly's Book in the corner.) Let's just leave........I want to go to the Beach!
Alflakeo and Mascarponia exit the room leaving Curly to explore his NY Times Bestseller.
At the Beach, they rent an Umbrella and await the meeting of Alflakeo's partner, Cheremoya Folikal, who had been instructed of the new meeting place. Mascarponia is not comfortable with Cheremoya and does not trust him. Senor Folikal as he his called, is jovial and superficial and keeps secrets with Alflakeo only, while Mascarponia watches. After hanging out and taking a few pictures he leaves.
MASCARPONIA I don't trust that guy past that rock........
ALFLAKEO He can be trusted. I have know him many years.
MASCARPONIA Why was he taking pictures of us?.....
ALFLAKEO Do not worry. There are reasons for the pictures which I cannot divulge to you at this time...
MASCARPONIA Are you B.S.'ing me?!....
ALFLAKEO Silencio! You sound like an American....I cannot tolerate you turning into an American! It is uncouth and I will dump you for sure if you continue your American attitiude....
Mascarponia slaps Alflakeo hard on his face. Alflakeo grabs Mascarponia and a female/male stereotype movie fight ensues.
A man sitting close by interrupts the fight by hitting Alflakeo over the head with an umbrella......Mascarponia is horrified. She was hurt by the 'American' insult, but was still in love with Alflakeo. A female bystander screams and decalres that Alflakeo has been killed. Mascarponia cries out that is isn't true and collapses to the sand........
to be continued........
.....You do know of course that hallucinations are very probable while sitting in pink gingham pyjamas, and being infected with the damn bug........
