The last week I was not out of town, but out of sorts. My Cat became very sick and I had to put her down yesterday.

I feel very lost and depressed. Every thing reminds me of her and I can't seem to get myself together. I have not slept well in the last three nights and have lost almost 5 pounds. Endorphins, creativity and any kind of excitement or motivation does not seem to be in my system right now. What is so incredible to me is how one can get so attached to these creatures and feel such a devestation. I cry intermitently.

Luigi is out of town til Wednesday. I did not want to come back to the apartment after being in that horrible moment at the Veterinary Clinic alone. My Mom spent the night with me and I spent the remainder of the day with a friend of mine and my Dad and Mom.

The long saga started
here in the April 6th 2002 entry.

It's been over a year and a half and she had been doing pretty well. But two days after returning from my conference in San Francisco, she took a turn for the worse.

Zena(Zeenie) my little black cat is gone. The cat in the picture is Sammie.....I am glad I still have him. But it's going to take a long time for me to heal...it hurts that much.....