Over the years I have been a saint, and a rebel, a giving person but a troublemaker, and a fiend, but an angel as well. (sounds like that hit song of which I have now forgotton the name of the singer). These are the words that would most likely come from the mouth of my Mother. I have probably given her a few periods of indigestion and heart attacks over all those years ago that I used to live with her.
We had our ups and downs, and there was a period of time that she did not talk to me, nor did I speak to her. There were times I would just walk away and give up as far as trying to get her to understand me!! It was so very frustrating. Many times I could not understand her at all, either!
I was cleaning out my office and bedroom this weekend, hoping to get rid of a lot of unneeded junk. It takes forever to do that, because you spend precious time perusing over all your garbage and deciding whether to toss it or preserve it. You think to yourself that you ultimately will cry in a couple of months when you realize you threw "something very important" away. I ran across a Birthday card my mother had given me about three years ago. The Birthday Card is a cutout of a beautiful little 18th century Austrian Teapot. The writing inside reads:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to a daughter who no less was born in a Fort, that always housed defenders of the BEST Country in the world! You are for so many reasons the Treasure of my Life!!! And no matter what the reason, I love you with all my heart and soul. May the Light shine upon you forever my sweet - Diana-
From your loving Mother.............April 6, 2000
I will always try to put myself in someone else's shoes, (no matter if they be friend or family or stranger,) before I pass judgement. When you do not understand someone, maybe you can figure out where they are coming from by trying to imagine what it would feel like to be them. (i.e.- a 65 year -old woman, a teenager). Unfortunately most of us cannot remember what it was like to be 14 and we don't know what it's like to be 65. I say you can do it. Just pretend you are so old, that no one pays attention to you any more, so you become invisible. This will especially be a good exercise for women. Just think of yourself as not having doors open for you anymore and you are too wrinkled and uninteresting for anyone to pay attention to you.
I'm not sure exactly when or where I actually learned the "putting yourself in someone's shoes" emotionally. ( We all know that stuff intellectually since we were kids. But no one really practices it.) Don't misunderstand me. I am not going out in this world pondering over the 'poor' driver who almost shaved off my bumper on the Freeway. But I will think about it more closely than I have. My relationship with my Mom has led me closer toward understanding it as I get older.
Thanks, Mom
I used to go to the Santa Monica Farmer's Market on Wednesdays often. But then I got very busy and have not been back in at least two or three years.
But last week I put in my planner that I wanted to try and work it into my schedule again.
It's one of the better Farmer's Markets in this area, always filled with tons of people. Mothers with children, teenagers, businessmen(and women), elderly men and women, couples and tourists. All kinds of different people speaking, sometimes, languages other than English.
There are a variety of vendors. Some with produce like delicious red juicy tomatoes that cannot be found in any traditional markets and that have a flavor you can taste! In the summer some vendors bring in from the San Joaquin Valley, twenty different kinds of incredible tasting peaches all summer long. There are the most beautiful flowers that are about half as cheap as they are in the local flower shops. There is one vendor that would bring in countless varieties of delicious tasting goat cheese.
There were vegetable and fruit stands, fresh squeezed juices, tempting fresh baked goods, baskets, spa items, handmade items.........The streets that were closed off just on Wednesdays between 10:00 A.M and approximately 3:00 p.m. were always filled with wonderful things, aromatic smells, and packed with people. It really was a joyous place for me to visit. I would so look forward to my trip to Santa Monica on Wednesdays.
Yesterday was hot and I was tired. When I had finished most of my work, I realized I did not want to venture out again. Luigi called me around 2:30.
"Are you all right?" he asked
"Yes,Why are you asking Me?"
"There was a terrible accident at the Farmer's Market"
When I hung up the phone, I called my Mom. But she was not at home. My sister called from Oregon after seeing the accident on T.V News.
"Where's Mom? I can't reach her."
Both my sister and I could not reach my Mom that whole afrternoon. According to my sister, my Uncle Willi was coming up from Oceanside with my little cousin to visit my Mom. He loves Santa Monica.
By 6:00 that evening my father had called the S.M Police. My mother was not on the injured list. But they could not give him information on those that had been killed.
An elderly man driving a full size car, had plowed through the barricades of the outdoor market at 60 miles an hour. Someone on the news said it looked like a war zone. About 40 people were injured, some critically, and eight had died.
My Mom finally called me at 7:00 pm and had just found out about the news. She explained to me that at 1:00 Willi wanted to go to Santa Monica to the Market.
"I don't know why" she explained, "I really love going to Santa Monica, but for some reason I told your uncle I didn't want to and so we decided to go to the Marina instead."
I questioned my Mom why she had made that decision, but she could not give me an answer. All she said to me was "Someone is protecting us."
I called my Dad to let him know and thanked him for getting the info for me. I told him the story about how she had changed her mind. My Dad knows my Mom very well. "Did she say that God spoke to her?" he asked
My parents are quite different from each other in the 'spiritual' sense. Obviously my Mom is very spiritual and my Dad is 'Political'. Let's just leave it at that. Maybe I am somewhere in between. Call it whatever you want; fate, providence, luck, God, whatever. I am grateful for both my Mom and I that we chose not to shop yesterday, at the Santa Monica Farmer's Market.
A little side note to the last entry about McDonald's. I was reading an article in the HEALTH section of the L.A. Times yesterday. The sub caption read as follows: "McDonald's decision to remove antibiotics from meat products couold be an effective weapon in the fight to prevent drug resistance."
It goes on to explain that "for over half a century that farmers have been feeding poultry and some livestock the same antibiotics--penicillin,tetracycline,bacitacin" which is normally used to treat sick humans.
However it has been routinely given to healthy livestock to make them grow bigger and faster "with less feed and to become more profitable at slaughter."
I've known this for a while, and it is why I do not frequent McDonald's. There are health dangers in the consumption of meat in this country, and a gowing awareness has created a public outcry and attacks on this practice from scientists,medical organizations and special interest groups. They contend that the 'involuntary ' consumption of these drug laden meats are causing new, stronger strains of bacteria in humans, that are growing more resistant to other drugs develped to kill them. Many of these super-resistant 'bugs' can cause fatal illnesses if antibiotics can no longer resist them.
McDonald's is now taking a positive step toward eliminating this practice by 2004. The newspaper huffed and puffed about how wonderful and magnanimous of McDonald's for taking on such an endeavor. Well excuse me, but this practice has been going on for 50 years! What about all the people, and not to mention, children, who have been consuming this kind of food all this time. I also wonder about it's link to cancer and other diseases that people die from.
I still will not eat at McDonald's or any other similar fast food place. If you still want to, you might want to wait until 2004.
Food for thought.
Friday May 30 & Saturday May 31
We finally got to Mari's(Luigi's sister) apartment almost three hours later!! We crashed for three hours in the afternoon, and I would have continued to sleep the rest of that day and all night. But we had been invited to dinner at Luigi's Aunt (Zia) Sylvana. My first introduction to eating cuisine from an Italian household.
She served us some yummy Antipasti(appetizers). Prosciutto and melon. I knew not to stuff myself, as there would be the main course. So I passed on the second appetizer. We sat down at the dinner table and had incredible pasta. I cleaned up a huge bowl. I expected that was the main course. When she came out with another plate I realized what I just had was the Primi ( or first dish). o.k. So I now would be eating a Secondi (second course) which is usually a protein. The steak Milenese was great, so when she encouraged me to have another helping, I did. Soon she went back out into the kitchen and brought out some other dish, which I have forgotton by now. I told myself that this was to go with the meat. O.k., I can handle that. Over the course of the next few minutes, she brought out salad and a couple of other dishes.
It became quite clear that, If I continued eating this way, I would have to roll out of there, and I would be putting on extra weight if I were to continue to eat this way at Luigi's family invites.
We had two different desserts. One of which was Gelato(Italian Ice Cream--the best!!!) So I couldn't very well say no to that.
I was beginning to feel very sleepy and could barely keep my eyes from closing. This should have been the time for me to get back and go to sleep. But that did not occur. They were having a political discussion of which everything was spoken in Italian. I knew it was political because I heard a "Bush" and 'America' words in the discussion and Luigi translated a couple of things, but mostly not. So I just sat there, full of food as Miss Roly Poly and 'listened' to their Italian discussions. Even though I was sleepy, it was still very frustrating to sit there like a mute and not participate in the conversation. Especially since they were talking about my country!
They were speaking. at one point about GMO's and why Europeans don't want them. His Aunt was saying that Monsanto(manufacturers and distributors of GMO's) was cheating the countries it was selling it to because the seeds could only be planted one time. Strange. Maybe that is just the character of the seeds. And I would have thought there would have been some other protest regarding environmental and nature changes. (Re: Birds traveling south who ate GMO corn died. And the discovery of some seeds getting mixed up with 'real' seeds and corrupting them.)
I wanted to find out exactly what they were saying about Bush. But why even bother to have it translated when I knew the coversation would not be positive.
We were there til 2:00 a.m. I did NOT fall asleep. My body clock was just too messed up. I fell asleep finally at 6:00 a.m. and slept til 7:00. Then fell asleep once more after breakfast at 10:00, but only slept til 11:30. I was not thrilled at sleeping only2 1/2 hours.
We eventually made it to the Duomo of Milano(main Cathedral in a city). We also went across from the Cathedral to the Galleria, a structure from the turn of the 20th century. I now know where these 'Galleria' shopping malls in the states got the idea. The Galleria housed shops and several restaurants. In the center was a new car pitched on it's front bumper and the tail in the air. Some kind of marketing set up. One positive thing for me was that any person handing out pamphlets or immigrant vendors trying to sell me something, I had a great excuse. 'No speaka Italian' Actually I said "No parla Italiano!"
We went to a Gelato ice cream place. There were a zillion flavors and quite a crowd of people waiting (NOT in line---Italians do not form regimented lines---they are all over the place!). The Gelato was, please excuse the truism, out of this world!! I love it! I would go back there tomorrow just for the Gelato. There was a Gelato place, I learned later, on 'almost every corner'. If we could just get rid of all those crappy Burger Kings and McDonald's and replace them all with Gelato ice cream stores, I think this country would be a better place. Shall I list all the garbage Americans eat. How about the worst meat they use for hamburgers. And those Big Gulps?! Soft drinks are not exactly the best thing for you. I wouldn't give it to my kids (if i had any kids). There is nothing that great worth saving in a fast food joint except the saving of your time('FAST food'). At least Gelato is quality food. Ironically there was a McDonald's right in the Galleria, across from the 'handstand' car. Mari told us that most Italians didn't go in but a heck of a lot of tourists did!
Enough of my hatred of Fast Garbage places. That night I couldn't fall asleep again. We had come home and Luigi made some steak for dinner and fell asleep while it was cooking. I went to bed at Midnight. When sleep wouldn't come I went into the kitchen and turned on the T.V., and sat there eating chocolate and cookies. Sometimes when I am at home I will eat chocolate at night and it puts me right to sleep. Unfortunately, my darn stubborn time clock would not change.......sleep did not come. So I watched Italian programs, trying to figure out what was going on and wondering why I never saw any fat Italians and dreaming of Mango and Straciatella(chocolate chip) Gelato.
Thursday May29 & Friday May 30
Stress begins the moment you wake up, the morning of your departure to the airport. Like an idiot, I packed like a fiend til 4:00 a.m. I guess you might say I was a 'bit' disorganized. Ironically all I took with me was a ten year old Backpack in 'new' condition as it was only used once before on my last trip to Europe. They don't make them this way anymore with NO metal back support to add more weight. I was perfectly ok with that. " You are ONLY taking that little thing with you?!!" one of my friends asked me in amazement when they saw it. I'll explain later my secret for packing and saving tons of extra baggage hassles.
We arrived at the Airport in plenty of time. But the stress began in earnest with my arrival at 'Checkpoint Charlie'. I 'went off' while walking through that x-ray thingee. A loud beep went off and they directed me to the side. "Take off your shoes", they instructed me. I had to sit down and wait for a female TSA (Homeland Security--don't ask me what TSA means) attendant to check me out with her wand. While that was going on, Luigi went through all the bags with another attendant who decided to check out my little 'cosmetic bag'. Luigi called over to me that they had taken my tiny, little manicure scissors away. What the Hell! My nail clipper can take a bigger chunk out of someone than that microscopic pair of scissors, and they didn't take the clippers away! I also found out that my cork soled shoes had metal plates in them.
We settled into our seats on Continental Airlines flight to Newark. The Flight plan was the best we could get at the time we went to get tickets on Orbitz.com. They put us in the very last row of a 737. After we took off, I started checking out who was sitting next to me. He looked like a man from the Middle East. "Could he be from Saudi Arabia?", I asked myself. Thinking I was getting a little paranoid and possibly committing a racist profile faux pas in my mind, I told myself to cease and desist. They came by with drinks and I was occupying myself with reading. At one point I looked over to my neighbor again and it seemed weird to me that he was not doing anything. I told myself to shut up and that to forget about it! The guy was probably an Italian. The next time I looked over, I froze. He had pulled out some kind of a pamphlet or small book and the text was in arabic! Oh horrors! This guy could be....... I turned to Luigi and motioned with my eyes for him to look at the man next to me. Luigi didn't understand. "What!", he said loudly to overcome the noise of the Airplane. I just sat there for a while, but finally made him understand. He looked over once, then looked at me and laughed and went back to his reading.
O.K. So I am a little paranoid. (But he was not with us on the next leg between Newark and Milano.)
We Landed at Malpensa Airport in Milano. His sister was there to meet us. Malpensa is one of three Airports there. Linate is right in the city. Malpensa happens to be about an hour outside of the city.
It was Friday morning and we were told it was a Holiday weekend. The car was not moving. We sat on the Autostrada with nothing happening. I saw some people get out of their cars. It really was not going anywhere. And I had complained so much about the traffic in L.A. Ha! From not sleeping for over 24 hours I felt like a Zombie. So this was the start of my vacation......stuck in traffic in a foreign city and starved and tired out of my mind.........Luigi and his sister were conversing in Italian and I could not understand a single word...Ahhhhhh! (screaming in my brain)..................
(to be continued)
